It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
