I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
