I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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