two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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