Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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