I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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