Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize