the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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