I wannas sexs uuuuu
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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