do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
