you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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