my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize