he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
