Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
