i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just had sex on a roof
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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