It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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