No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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