Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And then my night got REAL pukey
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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