Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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