i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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