i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
