She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
