She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
