we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
