I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
