question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
