She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
