When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
