everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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