But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
