Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
