No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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