Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
