I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Farmville is her only friend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
