I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
