was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this boner is exhausting
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
