the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Two words: blizzard sex
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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