Plan B is the new Plan A
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
