Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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