His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize