I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
