I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
