i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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