Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
organizing the empties. That sober.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize