And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
