I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
