Jerry, you need to find god
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
