I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just gift wrapped bread.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
