I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
