The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
