Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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