I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
