In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
