You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
