I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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