I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
