The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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