Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
