I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
