is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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