Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
