u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When did angry sex become our thing?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
