They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
