This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
